Five Cool Things you can do with an Umbrella

Author: Gaurav Mali | Date: 21 September 2012 | Subscribe Subscribe to Gaurav Mali

Face it, you never look "cool" walking with an umbrella. Whether you are Jules Winnfield, Indiana Jones, or The Most Interesting Man in the World, walking around with a plastic canopy over your head is the eptiome of a nerd, unless you have a top hat and a monocle of course! Although, to be fair, those things will make you look good regardless of your accessories.

But no need to worry! Because there is a way to make your day with an umbrella. Praise the plastic stick with a hat on top, because it is going to prove very useful to you from now on. Next time when it pours down on you, remember the following tips I am about to give you. You can always thank me on twitter afterwards.

Allow me to present you with: The 5 cool things you can do with an umbrella.

1) Drink Coffee!

Drink Coffee

Let's start off with the necessities of life. What's the first thing that you do in the morning? Coffee, of course. What better way to put that caffeine in your system than using a long, curved, hand-shaped tool fit for this purpose! You don't have to extend your arms when you keep the cup far away from your laptop. You also look cool pulling stunts in the morning when everyone else is still tripping over laptop cords!

2) Open doors!

Open Doors

Doors in the 21st century are being designed to be guarded with advanced, complex machinery. Thinking about buttons, gears, levers, hooks and all this mechanical stuff just makes me sick. That's why I chose to study Software Engineering in the first place! Keep that hardware away from me! I am happier designing application interfaces instead. So if you are like me (or a sane person in any way) only open the doors like these with a 3 foot umbrella. Also, upgrades your cool factor by +1.

3) Compile code.

Compile Code

No more stressing out over code compilation! Lose that bad pose, stress and the wrist pains. You can hit the keys with your handy umbrella! This way, you can spend less time coding, and more time attending meetings! I mean, no point in writing documentation on the side if the software doesn't even work, right?

4) Review code.

Review Code

Pick on bad coding practices of others, and point them out with your umbrella! Guaranteed to have a blast waving that magnificiant tool around the whiteboard explaining the simplest semantics that everyone has learnt decades ago. Everyone in the room is probably sleeping after listening to you go over the proper ways of handling exceptions, but who cares!? You have finally acquired the swag.

5) Gain free calories!

Gain Calories

Yea, I meant to say steal food. But that gets you in trouble.

BONUS: Work on your stealth startup!

Stealth Startup

Worried about someone stealing your ideas? Worry no more because with an umbrella, you can sit practically anywhere and be protected from the evil eyes of code thugs. Or potential users - because customer feedback is an outdated strategy. For even better results, wear sunglasses! If anything, it will at least make you feel that your code is safe.

See? An umbrella can be so useful! Who cares if you look awkward carrying one outside, you will be the most efficient human being indoors with that in your hands! It helps you code, drink, eat, unlock doors. Heck! I've heard that you can even use it as a parachute. Try it! Report back on how it went.

Photo Cred + Door opener: Denis C.
Stealth Startup Guy: Kshitij Sethi.

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